Well, Marriage, is suppose to be a selfless relationship. I felt in my heart of hearts that this lifestyle would benefit the both of us completely. My husband is a sensitive, personable, caring, and funny man. He cries right along with movies I find sad even more so then myself sometime. So you can perhaps see how before we chose this life style it could be a bit difficult to look up to him.
My lack of looking up to him, triggered many feelings. I demanded attention, everything was MY WAY and I had no rules or boundaries, It is hard to see him as the masculine figure. Since I was the ruler and queen of my kingdom and the main domineering force in the entire house. I am sure he has felt at times like he is not his own person but has never really said anything to me. He was definitely pussy whipped to say the least.
I wanted this to make a huge change in our marriage for the better.
I hope his confidence was going to be fully restored, I wanted to be able to look up to him and admire him in ways I never thought imaginable.
I know this must seem ironic to anyone reading this, that does not understand the Master/slave lifestyle. I am aware me becoming a slave doesn't create a partnership, but rather a dictatorship in the opposite direction. I feel like we need to complete each other. We can not both be leaders. All households have a more dominate spouse even if it is not in a BDSM lifestyle.
I want to step down and be more humble, I am/was tired of being in constant control. I want him to feel more like a man instead of a doormat. I want us to appreciate each other more as well. So yeah it may be ironic but it works with us for some reason. I can tell you what does not work. When he backs off being in control, Cause I have the personality that will take the reins if he ever does this. We begin to argue again, I become miserable, and we fight constantly. This was an on and off battle in the begin while we were both learning are new roles. But we have now established a more harmonious life. I am sure with the switch my husband is now a happier, nicer, more masculine, more confident person. He was then free to re-establish control, authority, and some of his internal anger that I know otherwise he would of held in. In all honesty being his slave feels good to me and I do it cause I want to. I except to be disciplined if I am acting in a way that is displeasing or childlike. When I act like that it is my fault and no one else's if a punishment is unpleasant it is only because I deserve it.
It makes me happy and I love being his property to use, teach, train, modify, guide, dominate, abuse, play and protect. Just to make him happier. Keeping the home clean, servicing him sexual, supporting, loving, and worshipping him. However I still have a very very domineering personality and have issues submitting to slave status often. It is going to take a lot of training and patience to have this tiger change her stripes. But I am working on it.
ttwd completely turned around my marriage--In a way, it's the best thing that has ever happened to us. It's interesting the things that change when roles are changed and clearly defined isn't it?
ReplyDeleteIf you love and honor your husband then you are following the greatest Biblical tradition. . And if you call him Master or Lord or Sir, then you are in very fine shape to take the next step. Letting go should not look that much different in most things you do. . but your own attitude will be the most dramatic show.
ReplyDeleteThere will be many times when you slip into an old way of doing things, but try to think about any consequences before you do whatever. Soon this will become a habit and your Master will be honored by it.
There will be times you forget then remember half-way through. And, there may be time when it does not occur to you at all that Master may want to have a say. Confess, apologize, state how you arrived and let him tell you to move on, unless you both engage in reminder play. . it will all be good.
Just be aware and follow through what you have signed up for.