Sorry for the long long break in writing, I am back now what I hope is for the long haul. I seriously have a long ways to go as a submissive female. I know in my heart this is something I truly desire. I love making others happy, especially my chosen life partner. I left for a bit cause I broke down into much of my old feisty spirited ways. I assume this is due to the fact, over the years I have built such a cage around myself that I combat anything uncomfortable to me. I know I need to correct this not only to be a better person but also for my love whom I wish to be fully subservient to. I hid from blogging more due to fears i have about people in my vanilla world finding out they way I desire to be and them seeing it as weird or taboo. I really need to get over my self issues. I need to be open and accept criticism if need be from whomever may be reading this. Perhaps this will all lead to something extremely positive with me learning to grow as a person.
Things That I want to work on or train to be better are as follows:
Physical Training: I want to lose about 50 lbs. I have a goal and would like to be 135lbs again sometime in the near future.
Better Health: goes along with the Physical but I want to quit smoking again in a serious way and eat much healthier.
This is the biggest one that I will have the hardest time with:
Emotional Training: Overcoming unhelpful emotions, control over my emotional expression, journal keeping :o), over coming fear, guilt, possessiveness, stubbornness, resistance, egotism, Accepting humiliation, overcoming expectations or feelings or entitlement. Learning obedience.
Verbal Training: Control of speech with better listening skills.
Plus anything else he thinks or knows I need work on.
I will list feelings and emotions in this blog as well as updates to my overall behavior and health. Going to breathe deep and take everything one step at a time.
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